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February 2009

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T-11

In my fear of what being forced into my old life will be like, I lash out with anger, bitterness, hostility, anxiety; I exaggerate my emotions to cope with that fear, to attempt to blindside it out of existence. And in doing so, I exacerbate the resistance I feel, the excitement, the cascade of other emotions – some nameless – which are enveloping me in these last weeks before I return to where I became who I am, where I lived for 18 years.

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